“Blame” Vs an Amazing Life – CHOOSE!
Do you know someone who doesn’t like to be responsible – for anything? Or maybe this is even you. Do you or someone you know have a habit of blaming (everything else) when things don’t go their way, and it is so pervasive that they even blame it on the weather? Even worse, some people take mean-spirited actions, feeling self-justified, as they wallow in their victim consciousness.
Most people don’t realize that using blame to solve your issues does not help. If anything, it works against you instead of helping you. It is actually a very self-destructive habit, and it really doesn’t help you in any other way other than providing a temporary reprieve. The problems don’t go away, and you don’t fix them. In reality, when you blame, nothing really changes. In fact, it does the opposite of helping you move forward in many ways.
The process of blaming can hold you back from creating the life you want. After all, if the cause of the problem is out there then so is a solution. When you spend focus time on blaming others, it also means that something outside of you has to change for your life to change – which can often be a long wait.
So it’s time to instead of blaming her/him, the dog, blame it on the weather, and instead, take self-responsibility for what you have in your life. This will help you to create what you want in your life!
The Blame Game
Have you ever had someone in your life that would spend a great deal of their time blaming you or others for what is going on in their life? You know, that person who is accusing everyone and everything else of being the root cause of why they’re unhappy, why their life is not working, why they’re not getting what they want, etc.
Blame is simply a way of avoiding, “passing the buck”and it keeps a person in denial! It is a way of avoiding what is really going on. Sadly it also stops a person from finding ways to do things differently. It is a learned behavior and a state of mind that can keep you stuck in your current reality.
Is Your Current Reality What You Want?
Is it what you really want?
As I call it, the blame game keeps you in a cute headspace that doesn’t give you room for solutions to problems. The biggest thing out is it disempowers you. If you are blaming something or someone else, you’re missing the fact that you created the situation (for some reason), and you can change it.
The Rescue Trap
Many times, wrapped around the blame game is what I call the rescue trapped. People who spend their time blaming someone else can look for someone to rescue them from their situation.
If you are with someone who likes to blame everyone else, it can be easy to rescue them from their perceived problems. You can see that they are suffering, and it’s easy to buy into their story. As a result, you want to help find a solution to their suffering so that they can be happy (or at least more satisfied). If you are a decent or reasonable person, you can spend a great deal of your time and energy trying to fix their problems, and in essence, you become their rescuer!
Unfortunately, our society is full of blame and people casting blame outside themselves. After all, some industries make a fortune out of assigning blame, such as the global legal network.
It can be easy to not see the big picture when you are in the middle of this dynamic. You can subtly and quickly find yourself in this unconscious dance attempting to hide the underlying “victim consciousness,” which is actually the real root of the problem. It can be easy to overlook that you’ve got yourself in a trap with a heart in the right place at you taking the wrong action. Both you and the blamer need to do things differently.
Are you the Blamer?
Are you the blamer? When something happens, and you don’t like the result, do you look for someone or something to blame? An easy way to discover the truth is to think about something that happened to you recently that caused you to be upset. For example, you recently got a speeding ticket, who would you blame? Or, your relationship is having problems – do you take responsibility, or blame your partner. Etc.
Start to monitor your day and look for areas where you spend your time blaming others instead of empowering yourself.
Trap Of Victim Consciousness
People blame others because they are getting something from it. A massive driving force is that don’t want to take responsibility for their lives. They are victims in their environment, their lives, their family, what’s going on around them, etc. Maybe people simply don’t want to remember that when they are pointing the finger elsewhere that more fingers are pointing to the real cause, themselves.
Victim consciousness is a state of mind where virtually everything is caused by something or somebody else. For some people, this is a natural state of mind. Whenever they don’t get the results they want, they look outside of themselves for somewhere or someone to blame.
Have you ever been with someone who blames you for all the problems in their lives, including the relationship? Whenever something would happen in their life that wasn’t the way they wanted, they are always looking for someone to blame. This was usually you.
Uninterrupted, this process can go on forever until you become so exhausted with what you are doing that a light bulb goes off in your head, alerting you that this will not change with this level of thinking.
Getting Out Of Victim Consciousness
Getting out of victim consciousness requires that you change your perspective. It requires finding a new habit, a new way of seeing the world. The great news is you’re the one that’s going to benefit the most.
Creating a new habit of thinking is something that virtually anyone can incorporate into their life, though. It just may take some awareness and making the new habit part of your life through practice.
Victim Consciousness will Steal Your Life.
One thing that may help you change your thinking is understanding that being a victim is stealing your life. Thinking you are a victim keeps you stuck in a place where it will be tough to achieve what you want. Instead of seeing setbacks as opportunities for new possibilities, you see them as obstacles. More importantly, the process gives your power for change away.
How to Get Out of Victim Consciousness
To get out of the trap of “victim consciousness” requires changing your thinking. It needs to shift from thinking your victim to thinking you’re totally responsible for your life. This puts all the power for change in your control. You have always been waiting for other people to make changes in your life in the past. Simply by adopting self-responsibility, you now have complete control of your life.
If you have setbacks, they become simply that. They become stepping stones to something better, and you don’t have to wait for someone else to take action. Setbacks become a means for you to learn something new, some new skill, and accomplish what you would not have been able to achieve before.
After not too long, you will be surprised at all of the benefits that have flowed into your life.
If you want a great way to get out of the Blame Game, check out this simple and very powerful program called Choose Again, which can transform your life. You can find it HERE
Being Self-Responsible
To be self-responsible, you will need to stop being a victim and adopt a process of radical self-responsibility. Being radically self-responsible means that you take responsibility for everything in your life. This is not called selective accountability. This is called radical self-responsibility. And when I say everything, I mean everything, not just the little things.
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Steps for Mastering Self-Responsibility
The following are a series of straightforward steps to incorporate self-responsibility into your life. The more you do this and are more empowered and then find yourself and you, the more you can see your life turn into the life you want.
Success!!! Here I Come!
1) The next time you get upset with something or some situation and catch yourself going into the blame game, stop yourself quickly and say the following words, “Cancel, Clear”
Continue to say this until you have interrupted the thinking pattern.
2) Next Verbalize “I choose to stop being a victim.”
3) Use the following statements:
a) I’m Upset: acknowledge that you are upset with the result that you’ve created
b) it’s about me: take power back to where it belongs with you. It’s about me stating I’ve created the result that I have. No longer will you look for someone else to be responsible for what you created in your life.
c) I have the power to change this: acknowledge that you can create new results,
d) I’m going to look for new actions to find a new solution to get me the results that I want.
Write down five ways of finding the solution that you want.
Summary
In some ways, most of us likely have a habit of blaming something outside of ourselves for the results we have created. We all tend to blame, but some people more than others. Unfortunately, some people live a life where blame is a way of being. Unfortunately, this habit comes with a considerable cost.
In many ways, when you blame anything or anybody, especially when you blame it on the weather, your life can come to a standstill. The reason is that if the problem is out there, then so is the solution. Using blame can bring your life to a halt because you give away your power to make a change. If the cause of your issue is outside of you, so is the solution.
By incorporating a new habit of being self-responsible, you can now make incredible changes and create the life you want. It may take you a few weeks to take this new habit, but it will be worth every minute you spend.
