What you can learn from life’s setbacks
By now, no matter what your age, it is likely that not everything in your life is going your way. As a result, you will have experienced results that were less than what you wanted. Unfortunately, or fortunately, throughout your life, you’ll face setbacks. You must learn from the lessons that life gives you, especially if you want to accelerate life’s lessons it is important that you learn from life’s setbacks (and successes).
How you deal with the setbacks can make a significant difference in the quality of your life. If you’re open to and don’t take setbacks personally, it’s incredible what you can learn from what at the time appears to be a significant problem.
Why It Is Important to Learn From Personal Setbacks
One of the best ways to move past a setback is to learn from it. That way, you can take what you learned and apply that knowledge in your next venture. So before you give up on yourself or your business, ask yourself if there’s something else about the situation that could be valuable for future endeavors. Maybe this time around will be different! If not, then maybe another endeavor would benefit more than trying again with this one. Whatever you do though, don’t let setbacks keep you down! You’re capable of so much more than just getting back up each time life knocks us down.
Here are some great things you learn from even the worst of your setbacks:
1) Learn Gratitude
I think this is one of the most essential skills you can use in all areas of your life.
Gratitude is defined as a feeling of appreciation or thanks. If we can learn to be grateful for life’s lessons, even if they don’t go the way we want, it changes how we look at the world. Having this open mindset also helps you to see new possibilities.
The reverse is that after experiencing many setbacks, it’s easy to develop a state of mind that doesn’t support your long-term success or health. When things go wrong, it can be easy to spiral into a negative state of mind if you let yourself. In that mindset, you could wallow in “what went wrong” versus finding a new and better way to accomplish your goals.
In essence, being grateful is a way to see the positives in virtually any situation. This can happen, no matter how bad things look. Having this mindset helps you look for a rainbow with a pot of gold at the end of anything you are doing.
Tip: Practice Gratitude, starting with yourself, ask: “What am I grateful for? – about me, about the opportunity, about how I handled the situation? “What am I grateful for about the situation?” And then bring the results into conscious thoughts.
2) Review Your Life and Look for Ways to Make Course Corrections.
If you can start to look at setbacks as a gift, it can help you improve yourself. If you can simply ask yourself: How did I contribute to creating this result?” “How can I improve these results? When you get answers, put them into your mind and focus on the possibility.
Additionally, you can learn a lot about yourself and who you are or who you become. It also gives you an incredible opportunity to look at who you want to be and what you need to do to get there.
When you go through adversity or tough times it is one of the best times to learn about your limitations. Look for ways that you are sabotaging yourself such as negative and positive thinking and action patterns.
After each hardship, the good news is that, if you are open-minded, you will get to know yourself a lot better.
Tip: Ask yourself: “What gifts have I received from what’s going on?”
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3) Understand That a Crisis Can Create or Provide (Amazing) Opportunities.
Continuing with the point above, when there is a setback or when something doesn’t go the way you expected, it can provide incredible opportunities if you have an open mind. Some of the greatest inventions and leaps in understanding came when things didn’t go as expected.
Setbacks can be an incredible opportunity to find new solutions. This could lead you to discover something that no one’s ever done before or, at the least, you have never done before. Anything is possible when things go wrong, and you use the right mindset. AND you can make most things happen!
Tip: when something goes not the way you expected, ask yourself: “Is there another way I can look at this?” Or what else can I do here?” Etc. Use the setbacks to look for new opportunities.
4) Be 100% : “SELF”- Responsible
Unfortunately, too many people focus on looking for someone to blame when something goes wrong in today’s world. A much more effective strategy is to bring the pointing finger back to ourselves. When we blame someone else, it stops us from asking ourselves: “How can I do this better? This, in turn, prevents us from making changes and growing. After all, the only person who can change your life is us.
If you spend your time blaming someone else for where you are, it will work against you. While you could spend your time and energy making course corrections, blame stops this creative process in its tracks. When you put your energy elsewhere by blaming someone else, you are really waiting for someone else to change so you get a better result. This, instead of helping you, will disempower you!
Stop immediately and ask yourself better questions that lead to empowerment and action. Develop the habit of asking yourself questions like: “how could I do this better?” Or “How can I improve what I’m doing? How can I be a better person?
Whenever you feel blame surfacing, do whatever is needed to change your thinking. How can I change something to dramatically improve my life?
Tip: “Take 100% responsibility for what has occurred! To get the most out of the situation, it’s time to ask yourself: “What can I do now do differently and better?”
5) Setbacks Help You Identify Who Your (Real) Friends are.
In life, we have many friends, or at least we think we do. We can enjoy their company during good times as few strings are attached. You find out who your real friends are when the problems arise, especially when you need help. When issues arise, many people disappear and no longer take your calls or respond to your messages. It’s important to understand that these people are merely acquaintances. These are not your real friends!
When you need help, your real friends will rise to the occasion when there’s a problem. When there is a problem, you will quickly realize how many of these friends, companions, loved ones, and family are somebody you can rely on. Sadly you will find out that your potential list will likely thin out quickly.
I recently went through some hard times, and I very quickly found out who my real friends were and are. A couple of my friends, mainly the ones I’d known for a long time, would and did move mountains to help me, something I’ll never forget!
Tip: Keep a mental note of who your real friends are. Also, don’t judge anyone as they are simply doing their best. Maybe this crisis will help them to learn to rise to the occasion.
6. Setbacks Can/Will Demand Change!
A definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result. You can keep doing what you have been doing and just create more of the same. I’ve done this, unfortunately, too many times in my life, and you will likely just find yourself back in the same situation in the future.
Know that if you really want a better life, the setback is just saying; hey, you need to change something here. You need new skills, knowledge, openness to looking at life differently, etc. This in itself can change your life in a very positive way.
Setbacks will give you the strength to face change and make a change. Because once you’ve been pulled from your comfort zone, you may not have a choice. Be open to change and see what the universe provides for you.
Tip: look for what it is you need to do differently, starting immediately and then putting in a plan to make it happen
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7) Love Yourself
When you go through tough times, it can cause much pain and discomfort. Afterward, as you’re able to reflect back on what happened, you can learn some unbelievable lessons. Hopefully, your heart has opened, and you are more compassionate, especially to yourself.
The main reason your compassion levels have increased is due to setbacks and your willingness to look within for answers.
If you’re open, you will be more open to others going through the same things. You also may be able to share your insights to help others overcome being stuck in the same place you have been. You now can be there for others with new knowledge and strength and can comfort others when they need comfort.
Tip: ask yourself no matter how bad things are: “How can I love myself at this moment?” Or “what is the best thing I can do for myself right now?”-and then do it!
7) Lessons About Actual Levels of Control
Setbacks can teach you that you cannot control every aspect of what you’re doing. Yes, you may have varying degrees of self-control, but you cannot control every part of others, situations, or your total experience. Setbacks can help us to learn to become more adaptable and be open to seeing and experiencing setbacks as the gifts they provide. Remembering that we cannot control everything around us also reminds us that we should be better prepared for what may happen in our lives. This can help us to plan for contingencies.
Tip: ask yourself “do I need to control this or should someone else be in charge of this?” Additionally, “am I micromanaging this and I need to let go and let things happen?”
8) Setbacks Can Help Us to Clarify Our Focus
When we experience setbacks, it can help us get really clear about what we want to accomplish and what we want in our lives. After a setback, learn to reflect on what happened and look for gaps in your knowledge or skills that need improvement. Also, ask yourself if the direction you are going is towards where you really want to get to. You may have had firm ideas of what you were trying to accomplish, but a setback can cause you to rethink your goals and to have a much more targeted focus.
This can result in redoing the plan and addressing any shortcomings that need to be addressed. This will help you understand what you need to adjust and what new strength you need to incorporate. You can then re-focus with all this knowledge, and the journey will likely be more straightforward.
Tip: ask yourself: “how do I need to better focus on the goal I want to create?” Or “What should my primary focus be right now?”
9) We learn resilience!
When things are difficult, it could easy just quit and walk away – “Oh Well, that didn’t work!” This is especially the case when things get a lot worse. One thing is for sure, you should never give up. If the goal was good at one point, keep going unless you realize something that is a game-ender. Remember, if you quit, the only ability you have really taught yourself is how to stop. This is not a good life strategy.
Know that learning to overcome setbacks will become one of your most excellent character strengths! And you can feed off this strength in the future. Some of the most heart-wrenching episodes of your life will be soothed by the power of your soul.
Tip: immediately take steps to not take anything personally. We have no control of so many variables in life, and all we can do is take charge of things we can change. For the most part, the only thing we can change is ourselves!
10). Look for Different (New) Perspectives
When setbacks pop up, to begin, you will likely resist what is going on, at least in the early stages. However, after some time, if you keep an open mind, it can provide you with insights that may have escaped you otherwise. Setbacks can open your eyes to new possibilities you never thought about.
Tip: keep an open mind and look for new ways of looking at the situation. Look for new possibilities you’d never envisioned in the past and learn from them. Then take massive action!
11) Learn to “Love” Harder
When troubled times come, looking at things from a loving space is an amazing way to make a change. It lets go of victim consciousness and looks for ways that help everyone. When there are setbacks, it can be easy to slide into resentment, as if someone has done something against you. Others are simply doing their best, based on what they know and the beliefs that they were programmed with – based on their current knowledge.
An incredible way to make powerful change is to always remember to stay in your heart. Always remember that no matter how much pain you come up against, you have a fantastic choice: to focus on love and acceptance or judgment and rejection.
Now, this does not mean overlooking being treated poorly, abuse, etc. Remember that you can love – NO matter what happens! You may just have to do it from a distance.
If you see this as a fantastic opportunity for growth, you will realize that just by staying in a mindset or a place of “love,” you will always take the higher ground. Love is what you need to learn and focus on when things get overwhelming. Yes, If we must, we can walk away. At the same time, we should make sure that our universal. We just love much harder than before. That includes loving others but especially ourselves.
Tip: always remember that love is the most important thing. Love others, love yourself, and even love your results even though you don’t like them.
How to overcome Setbacks your in Life (or help others to rise above these issues!)
We can learn other life lessons from when things don’t go our way. The adversity found in various setbacks in life is some of the most influential teachers. Take some time and think about where you are in life – instead of complaining about what you do not have, be thankful.
One of the best ways to move past a setback is to learn from it. That way, you can take what you learned and apply that knowledge in your next venture. So before you give up on yourself or your business, ask yourself if there’s something else about the situation that could be valuable for future endeavors. Maybe this time around will be different! If not, perhaps another initiative would benefit more than trying again with this one. Whatever you do, though, don’t let setbacks keep you down! You’re capable of so much more than just getting back up each time life knocks you down.
Instead of worrying, also try to practice a bit of faith. Instead of holding a grudge, or being upset that things have not gone the way you wanted them to, learn to focus on new understandings. Take your hard-earned insights and let go of the emotional charge. Look for new possibilities, new opportunities, and let go of the past. Embrace these lessons and see them as the opportunities they are.