Where Do Trapped Emotions Come From?
Every day children are born into the world to parents who have a wide variety of child-rearing skillsets. Yes, many parents try hard to help their children. Yet sadly, far too few parents have any real training on how to raise children. Few take the time to understand the nuances of raising a physically and emotionally healthy child. As a result, many people are deeply wounded and can spend much of their lives learning how to release trapped emotions that can play havoc on our lives.
Recent work on childhood “attachment,” or how a child is healthily attached to their parent (or not,) estimates that over 50% of children come out of their childhood with poor attachment. In other words, according to recent studies, almost half of children raised today will come out of their childhoods with an unnecessarily poor sense of self.
It almost seems like there’s a collective unconscious belief circulating throughout the world where too many people think, “Hey, I’m human; raising children comes naturally – I don’t need any training.”
In today’s world, in many ways, it can be more demanding and will require more training to get a driver’s license than it does to give birth to another human being.
Despite the amount of information available, most people/parents remain completely or mostly unaware of what makes them tick. Sadly, it’s almost as if personal ignorance was a planned byproduct in societies. In a similar way that governments do not teach people the valuable but straightforward life skill of being able to balance a chequebook, there’s far too little training on how to raise healthy children. (I will address this in another blog shortly.)
A byproduct is that few people understand how their own minds work and how old emotions can alter one’s thinking, sometimes in significant ways. Additionally, if you know how we process emotions and how emotions can get trapped within us, you can understand the potential effects of childhood. This unspoken process can result in your early life experiences unconsciously affecting your decisions and the lives of those you affect.
The Need for Better Understanding
As a result of our collective ignorance, most people will suffer from emotional and/or physical wounding. I see byproducts of this constantly. One only has to go for a walk downtown or get on transit or go to a local park. This neglect has been especially the case during the pandemic when many people struggle with the changes.
I often see parents preoccupied with themselves and ignore their young children when I’m out and about. The neglect has deteriorated with the introduction of cell phones. It is becoming all too common to see a young child in a stroller whose caregiver is engrossed in a conversation on their cell phone while neglecting the child. (If you care about your child, please leave your cell phone in your pocket!)
Saying this, if are one of the few that have taken the time to educate yourself about the importance of childhood rearing and understand many of the nuances, my hats off to you!.
Causes and Intensities of Wounds
Our wounds could result from traumatic events, such as being abused or neglected, or more subtle experiences, such as feeling ignored or thinking you are not good enough. These experiences can start as early as in the womb or when we are still crying in our crib.
It could be chronic or an event that occurred in seconds.
Remember that young children are incapable of accurately interpreting the events around them. They see everything from a child’s simple (and demanding) perspective. A young child can decide on something instantly, which could become life-altering.
Whatever the cause, these wounds can carry over into our adult lives. They can make us feel anxious or insecure and lead us to doubt ourselves and our abilities.
3 Real-Life Examples of How Profound Childhood Wounding Can Be!
In this case, a young boy, about five years old, was out playing in the backyard. Much to his delight, he found a frog. Gently picking the frog in his hands, he ran with excitement into the house to show his father working in the home office.
The little boy, in his excitement, called out: “Daddy, daddy, look what I found,” holding the frog up.
Instead of sharing in the boys’ excitement, his father briefly looked up from his desk, gave his son a cold look, and without even a word, he quickly turned back to his work,
Downtrodden, the young child turned around and walked out of the room.
The real tragedy was that this little boy made a life-altering decision at that moment. He adopted the belief that “our family is serious. “
This new belief quickly and erroneously became a cornerstone of his life. He would carry this with him for years, and it would alter his life. He went off to school, got a job working as a stockbroker in New York, and lived his life as a serious person.
By a stroke of luck, something eventually happened where he became aware of and challenged this early belief. He finally understood it for what it was, simply an opinion, one that he didn’t even agree was accurate. Once he understood this, he was able to change this belief.
He pulled himself together, quit his job as a stockbroker, changed careers, became a teacher, and spent the rest of his life helping young children.
A woman kept getting ill well into her 40s and 50s and landing in a hospital ward.
She went to a therapist, thinking there was something deep-seated was driving her. Over time, she uncovered a simple decision buried in her psyche.
The woman discovered that when she was young, about age 4, she had unconsciously observed that when she got sick, her mother was very affectionate and loving. She felt that this was the only time.
Deep in her subconscious, she took on a life-altering belief that translated into – “If I get sick. I’m going to get love.”
This belief repeatedly ran her future life even though she grew up and her circumstances changed entirely.
The good news is that she no longer found herself in the hospital when she discovered and changed this hidden belief.
Around the age of three, a young boy was pulling weeds in the garden with his father.
What young child knows the difference between a weed and a flower?
Here I am in my 60s, and I doubt I could effectively tell the difference between a weed and a flower.
The young lad accidentally pulled up some of the flowers in his handful of weeds in his excitement.
When his father noticed this, instead of simply educating his child, the father picked up a shovel, running at the child, screaming, “I’m going to kill you!”
In that instant, this poor little child’s neurology was utterly overwhelmed. He was instantly traumatized for life, all because his father overreacted! The child was so scared that it overrode his internal systems.
From that point forward, any emotional incident that occurred in his life that had any level of emotional intensity would immediately overwhelm his neurology.
If you want to understand this more, check out the works of Dr. Gary Flint HERE
The young lad essentially created a new “personality” when he was emotionally stressed. By the time he was getting professional help with Dr. Flint yet was estimated that over 3000 different personalities had been created.
In each of the stories above, they were all innocent little children.
The adults in their lives were either unaware or didn’t care about the effects their actions could have on their own children. In their ignorance, they left legacies that no child should have to endure.
Sadly this happens all over the world every day. I’ve met so many people in my life that are trying to undo the effects of their childhood. For me personally, in some ways, I think this was a main driving force in my s to understand the human condition.
I have to also say this with a caveat. It is also not fair to focus solely on parents as these life-altering experiences can come from others. Perpetrators can include: teachers, people in positions of authority, governments, friends and family, and sometimes “crap happens.”
As a result, most of us have some form of trapped emotions and their attached beliefs buried within ourselves. Additionally, far too often, people experience more than one traumatic event, meaning that there can be more than one trapped emotion.
These early childhood experiences can suddenly be triggered and instantaneously bring the original experience into today’s reality, complete with all of its emotions and resulting beliefs.
It’s a good chance that you have something(s) in your background that is affecting your day-to-day experience. Your experiences may not be as dramatic as the examples above, but they are still likely there. And it can be running / ruining your life!
Yes, we humans can be wounded a lot easier than we think. A key thing is to understand and always remember is that children are precious and that they can be easily wounded in ways that can alter their lives.
Understanding Emotions and the Emotional Process!
In simple terms and a perfect world, emotions can add vibrant colour to our lives! They can bring us joy and laughter, bring us to tears, help us heal, experience grief, and add incredible depth to our lives.
Being able to laugh, cry, get angry, etc., adds so much incredible depth of experience to us all. Sharing intimacy with someone you love or laughing at jokes with friends, sharing the excitement at a hockey game, etc. can make life worth living.
But as we saw above, sometimes this process can go off course and needs to be fixed.
It is essential to understand the underlying emotional experience, which has three steps:
In Simple terms:
- Step 1: Something happens outside of us.
- Step 2: We respond to it internally by experiencing a(n) emotion(s);
- Step 3: Normally, w release the emotion from our neurology and move on
Unfortunately, far too often, especially when we are children, we don’t get the opportunity to complete the three steps fully. For example, let’s say you are three years old and your parents are upset with you. Can you fully express yourself? Sometimes, or not but not always – and that is the problem.
When we don’t fully release these emotions, they can become trapped inside of us. As part of our survival mechanisms, this part of ourselves will be hypervigilant, on guard and looking for similar circumstances to the original event.
Once encountered, the original event emotions and thoughts rise to the surface and we unconsciously think our reactions are about today when they are not.
The Need to Release TrappedEmotions
If we don’t release these old emotions, we just keep reliving the past. Worse, the past then runs us by altering our perceptions.
By releasing them, we can find the freedom we all deserve. Every trapped emotion we release, leads us to a better and more fulfilling life, one of choice vs reaction.
Love yourself and release every trapped emotion you can, and as soon as you can.
As a Personal Note:
I had an incident at school when I was about six years old. I was left in a room with an angry police officer who started yelling at me. Could I release my emotions at that time – Not likely. At least, I sure didn’t think so – I sure wasn’t going to tell a 6’2″ angry guy with a gun what I really thought about him.
Little did I know, but that short incidident would have an effect on my whole life, especially in dealing with authority figures. My neurology would unconsciously have me relive this experience over and over again throughout my life – Sad, and so avoidable.
Think about it. If your parent was upset with you when you were three years old, would you be able to release fear, anger, other forms of upset?
These trapped emotions get stuck inside us and are accompanied by the beliefs that we made up at the time.
With each of the examples above, these young children could not effectively release their emotional experience and go on to live a fulfilling life, one of their own choice. Unknowingly, these short experiences took over their lives.
Trapped emotions are one of the main factors that keep our childhood wounds alive and active. These unexpressed emotions are “negative emotions” that get trapped in our bodies after a traumatic event. They can cause physical pain and illness, keeping us locked in negative behaviours and thought patterns.
Read about how to Adopt a Success MindSet HERE
Cleaning up Our past – Releasing Trapped Emotions
Fortunately, there are ways to overcome the adverse effects of our childhood wounds.
My own Experience of What Is Possible
I know from my own experience that remarkable changes can be simple and are possible.
When I was under five years old, I had an emotional experience involving my parents like the children above. Like the children above, I also made decisions about the world and took on specific behaviours that would work against me. I know now that I did this under the guise of getting love from my parents.
These behaviours ran in my life for almost 60 years until I found ways to release them, which I will outline shortly. Using what I learned, in about 45 minutes, the whole dynamic that I’d set up as a child completely disappeared. Almost instantly, the old wounds and beliefs no longer had any effect on my life. It was like a miracle and gave me a new sense of freedom. In many ways, it transformed my life.
I’m confident this can happen for you as well!
Outline about how to transform your life
As this post is already relatively long and involved, I will provide a summary and get you going. If you come back over the next few days, I will give a more detailed post on what I went through to release some deep-seated emotional issues.
A) Increase Your Self Awareness:
It is essential that you start to become more aware of where you’re stuck. The sooner you begin increasing your self-awareness, the better, as it will lead you to what is holding you back.
Start observing yourself more and becoming more aware of when you get upset or get stuck, such as procrastinating.
B) Learn Muscle Testing
We think our conscious minds run us, but there is much more. Our subconscious mind performs about 95% of the essential functions in our lives. It knows far more than our conscious mind does.
To make deep-seated changes, you must learn how to access it. As you go along, you will be able to ask if there is something such as a trapped emotion that keeps you stuck.
One skill that can help a lot is called “muscle testing.”
I highly recommend that you practice muscle testing and get good at it!
It will teach you how to get yes and no answers from your subconscious mind. Muscle testing can quickly help you to unwind old decisions.
For example, you might ask your subconscious mind:
Do I have a wound that is stopping me from being successful
or Do I have a belief etc., that is causing me to overeat, etc.
You will get a yes or no answer once you understand using the basics of muscle testing, which can lead you to the problem.
C) Learn Dr. Bradley Nelson’s “Emotion Code” Techniques.
Mastering the Emotion Code techniques will help you a great deal. It was one of the techniques that helped me transform my life.
Dr. Bradley Nelson was a chiropractor, and he discovered that, like discussed above, you could ask the subconscious mind for direction and get answers.
Dr. Nelson clearly explains how easy it is to use and how powerful it can be. You can use this process for yourself and others, including your pets.
We can get wounded during our lives if we don’t process our emotions and the accompanying beliefs. They can become trapped in our neurology and can alter our lives at many levels.
Until my next post, I highly recommend that you learn the steps above as quickly as possible.
a) Become more self-aware
b) Learn Muscle testing
c) Learn the Emotion Code
If you want to make changes in your life, practice them until they become second nature.