How Your Self-Talk is Stopping You From Being Happy

Your Self-talk can create a new you if you know how to use it properly.

It seems like our minds never stop, even when we’re sleeping. There’s always quiet chatter in the background going on in our minds. If you’re like most people, you are so used to this constant babble that it is likely that you don’t give much attention to your thoughts. Yet this Self-talk may be stopping you from being happy and achieving what we want in life.

Conversations happen all the time between us and yup, ourselves. For the most part, this occurs usually without us even realizing it. These conversations are often called self-talk or inner dialogues. Their content and focus can vary and as a result, have different effects.

Some types of self-talk can be positive, for example, when encouraging yourself to do something challenging. Other kinds of self-talk are negative and work against us. For example, if you tell yourself that something is hard or not worth doing, it can stop you from taking action.

Negative self-talk is when you keep telling yourself the same things about yourself over and over again. If you are using words like: “I can’t,” “I’m just no good at this,” and “this is too hard” – you are using negative self-talk. You may be surprised at how often you hear yourself saying these words to yourself – just start to listen to what you say to yourself and others.

Do you ever think about your thoughts? 

Do you ever ask yourself: 

  • “Why am I thinking this?”, 
  • “Where did this thought originate – when and where did this thought come from?” 
  • “Is my subconscious mind trying to teach me something?” or 
  • “Should I be paying more attention to this or change what I am saying?” 

Few people understand that our self-talk can change our lives for the good, especially if we consciously use it.

Self-talk is one of your most powerful tools for success, but it can also be a major roadblock on the way if what you say to yourself is holding you back and keeping you from achieving what you want. You can transform self-talk from a roadblock into your biggest asset for success.

Learn to Use Your Self-Talk

Instead of being one of the contributing factors that keep you stuck, you can learn to use your subconscious mind to your advantage by becoming more conscious of your thoughts. In the process, simply changing our self-talk can alter how you see yourselves, the events in your life and how you act (or react) to what is going on around you.

Strategies to Use your Self Talk for Your Own Good

In this blog post, we will provide 11 strategies to help you take more control over your life. You can start today to take control of and use your self-talk to your advantage – something you can do for the rest of your life.


A beginning step to control your self-talk is to understand how it works. As you likely already know, your self-talk can be either positive or negative. The focus of your self-talk will be affected by your primary thoughts, which ofter come from buried emotional issues. These old emotional wounds can be the drivers around many if not all negative focused self-talk.

Next, understand that your subconscious mind does not distinguish between real or imagined experiences. Whether something actually happened or not didn’t matter because your subconscious mind and your subconscious mind take your thoughts literally.

Personal Hint:

I found that if I view my subconscious mind like an obedient servant looking for instruction, it helps me be more conscious of my thoughts and what I say. This alteration of awareness enabled me to listen to my thoughts and what I say more intently. 

I realized that the more I repeat thoughts with a specific direction, i.e. positive, my subconscious could interpret this as something I want. If I focus on ideas like I’m broke, unlovable, and nobody cares about me, my subconscious mind will bring me this. 

The reverse is if I focus on thoughts like I’m wealthy, I love myself. I’m confident in my abilities. I have a fantastic relationship, and excellent opportunities come my way, then this will start to manifest in my life.

Use Your Awareness to Improve Getting What You Want

Again, you must stay on top of your thoughts and focus only on what you want! 

By being consciously aware of what you say to yourself, you can control the direction of your life. By managing your thoughts, you allow yourself to control what you are creating in your life. Your self-talk has a lot of power, and it’s essential to be aware of how it affects your moods, your emotional state and especially, your behaviours and actions. 

When you’re able to take control of your self-talk, you are taking control of your life.

11 Ways to Take Control of Self Talk

Here are ways that you can start taking control of self-talk and do so immediately:

1) Increase your awareness! Start now! 

Become conscious of what you think and what you say to yourself and others. Immediately increase your conscious observation of your thoughts and what you say. Begin to notice the general focus of your thoughts. Are they (mainly) positive or negative? Do they support you

in having the life you want? OR are they thoughts that will keep you stuck in either inaction or taking actions that do not serve your highest good?

Start to become considerably more aware of when negative thoughts begin to control you and catch yourself before they spiral you out of control.

2) Starting Right Now – Challenge Your Thoughts!

As your self-awareness increases, it is essential that you start questioning the validity of your negative thoughts. Are they true? Will this serve my highest good? 

3) Address Your Negative Thoughts.

As soon as you focus on negative thoughts, it’s essential that you quickly replace them with positive ones! Ask yourself – How can I rephrase this so that it supports me getting what I want in life. Know that this will take practice and become a habit you can master with repetition. 

4) Your Personal Perspective Controls Your Life! TAKE CHARGE

When you are in the middle of self-talk, it can be hard to catch yourself and think clearly and not get caught up in negative thoughts. Sometimes when you connect our emotional body, they can seem to spiral out of control; it can help to step back from what you’re thinking to obtain clarity. 

5) Self-talk is Your Choice, and YOU and You Alone Have Control Over It!

It is time to choose something that supports you. Remember that you do have power over self-talk, especially after bringing it to consciousness. Yes, it likely isn’t something you can change overnight and do it. It just takes awareness, reframing, persistence and practice. 

6) Focus on the benefits.  

There are many benefits for focusing on what you will and letting go of negative self-talk. The quality of your life will improve, you’ll feel more fulfilled, you will have better relationships, and the quality of your life can improve drastically. This will help to lower your stress and make you happier. Remember that you have the choice to change your self-talk!

07. Your SELF TALK doesn’t define you, but it contributes to your overall self-image.

Self-talk is one part of how people perceive themselves. Moreover, it is something that you can learn quickly to control and support your overall living conditions. 

8) Look for ways that you reinforce positive self-talk.

Look for ways that you can get support changing your self-talk. There are many YouTube videos, books, audio files etc., that can help you on this journey. Start to reinforce your use of self-talk to support you asap. 

A great product to help you change your self-talk: One thing that can help you change your self-talk is cleaning out your negative energy. Many times it is trapped negative emotions that drive our self-talk. Check out a great product to help you with this, the BioEnergy Code, which you can find HERE

9) As you become more conscious of your self-talk, begin to understand their origins.

Understand that your internal and external dialogue didn’t happen in a vacuum. Much of what we say to ourselves originated from how our primary caregivers treated us. We all learn the things we tell ourselves based on early life messages our parents/caregivers gave us about ourselves when we were growing up. 

10) Self-talk isn’t always destructive, even the – negative ones. 

Your self-talk can help you to reach your goals. It can help us to stay motivated and overcome many obstacles. 

As you increase your awareness ofo your self-talk and what you say to yourself and others, question yourself: “Is this helping me to change my life to something I want?” 

It’s essential to be able to distinguish internal thoughts that are either being helpful or unhelpful. 

11. Love yourself in the change process: 

Self-love should be an essential aspect of being aware of your self-talk. Instead of focusing on thoughts that do not support you, a significant motivator for changing your self-talk is to improve your life and, in essence, love yourself more. 

Changing your self-talk is not about beating yourself up. It is about the opposite – loving yourself more. 

There’s already enough external criticism and stress that we don’t need to contribute to this. Just remember that change doesn’t happen overnight. Please be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to transition from old habits into ones that support you being all you can be. 

11. Look for the Origins of your Negative Self-Talk – Keep a journal: 

As you become more aware of your thoughts, write down what you’re saying to yourself, especially the negative comments. This simple process could help you a lot in the future, especially if you start to release negative emotions. Your negative thoughts can be associated with old emotional experiences, usually with a trapped emotion from your childhood. 

Look for Origins of Negative Self Talk

When you are ready, use your journal entries to help you heal old wounds. Our thoughts come from somewhere. Our negative self-talk is often simply trying to get our attention, indicating that there is some buried emotion and related ideas that need to be processed.

When you say the thoughts to yourself or others, how does it make you feel? Ask yourself, “When was the first time I felt this way?” and see where your thoughts take you. 

What to do NOW?

Take action: if you want to change your life, it has to start with you. Start by taking action that supports you having the life your want. Starting now, become more aware of your self-talk. If it doesn’t motivate you to change your life in a good way, write it down (so that you can look for its origins later) and replace it with something that will help you get what you want. 

It’s your choice – What you say to yourself is your choice – It’s time to make choices that support you. From this point forward, make choices that help you be all you can be! 

Your self-talk doesn’t define you, but it does make up a part of how you perceive yourself. It gives you a great starting point to make powerful choices in your life.  Stand firm against your self-talk and use it to create a better you and help those around you to do the same. 

Closing Thoughts:

If you talk to yourself, then it’s time to rethink the words that come out of your mouth. You may not realize how powerful self-talk can be in terms of shaping what happens in your life and business. The power is within each one of us; we just need to take control over our thoughts by becoming aware of them and changing negative ones into positive ones so that we can achieve all that we want for ourselves.

When you talk to yourself, it’s time to become more aware of what you are saying to yourself. You may not realize how powerful self-talk is, but hopefully, you understand that it can shape what happens in your life and business. If you focus on what is wrong – guess what, you will create more of what you don’t want. 

There is incredible power within us, available to us all via what we say to ourselves. Take control of your thoughts by becoming aware of them and changing negative thoughts, especially the repetitive ones, into something positive. By doing this, you will start creating more of what you want and less of what you don’t want.  

Never underestimate the power of your subconscious mind and how much it can help you change.

Go get them


Live The Life Of Your Dreams!

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