Negative Core Beliefs (and How To Change Them.)

Negative Core Beliefs (and How To Change Them.)

Are you creating the life you want? Good chance that you do not have what you want for life that you have beliefs, even ones that you are not aware of, that are the problem. It’s important to understand that your beliefs run you, BUT not all serve your best interest. You have Positive Core Beliefs that support you in having the life you want. Unfortunately, you can also have Negative Core beliefs that can dramatically hold you back.

Has it ever occurred to you as you try to create the life you want that it’s own your own beliefs that are the problem? In fact, they are virtually both running and ruining your life.

I Believe………… 

Do you ever think about what you believe to be true and why you believe these things? After all, beliefs are the equivalent of the operating software of your mind.

But where did your beliefs come from? From who? At what age and under what circumstances? Why did you adopt these beliefs?

Did you choose these beliefs because you came from a safe environment and there was no stress? Or did you take on beliefs in an atmosphere of fear and with an unconscious need to protect yourself?

Some of your beliefs may keep you safe and last a lifetime. Some may have served you when you were three but are now ruining your life.

Either way, you can adopt a belief that may support you at the moment but then sabotages the quality of your whole life.

Do you ever challenge your beliefs, especially your core beliefs, the ones that define you? If not, maybe you should!

An Example of a Core Belief That Didn’t Serve Someone. 

I remember a story about a woman who kept ending up in the hospital and had been doing it for most of her life. Drs. could find nothing wrong with her.

Eventually, with help, the woman discovered that when she was four years old, she had unconsciously decided that if she got sick, she would get love and attention.

She took on this belief as her experience growing up had been that the only time she received love and positive attention from her mother was when she was sick. Her unconscious mind unknowingly decided that sickness = a way to get love.

Like most core beliefs, the belief she embedded in her mind was not time or person dependent. It was simply: “if I get sick, I get love,” (even though that was never the case. )  

She changed this into “If I contribute, I get positive attention.” She no longer needed to create illness (and hospital bills) to get positive attention.  

Why It’s Important to Challenge Beliefs

Unfortunately, most people seldom give their beliefs much consideration despite the results they’re creating in their life. For most people, the problem is “out there.” 

Most people seldom reflect on why they believe what they do, where the beliefs came from, and whether they are in their best interest. Most people this plod along blindly. 

As a side note, I always find it interesting that we humans are considerably more diligent about the software we load into a $300 computer than what we load into our million-dollar minds. 

I also won’t be surprised that our experiment with the Internet will have some long-lasting negative consequences due to the unconscious beliefs people are adopting unknowingly due to years of social media. Be careful with your Brain, my friend. 

Check out our post on Challenging Your Beliefs HERE

So, What Are Beliefs?

Beliefs cover a wide path
What do you believe?

Your beliefs become the foundation of who you are (or at least who you think you are.) 

They can be empowering or disempowering. They can serve you or sabotage your life. In basic terms, they are (just) a collection of thoughts you believe to be true – which may or may not be true! They also may have been true at a moment in time and no longer are. At one point, they may have served you but may no longer do so. Problem is that most people think their core beliefs are correct and that they are written in stone.

They are encased in the thoughts that you think (consciously or unconsciously) about yourself, others, and the world around you. They are what you believe to be true about a topic. 

How do Your Beliefs Affect You And Your Life?

Your beliefs shape how you see yourselves, others, and your environment and dictate your relationship with the world around you. They are your personal software of the mind, so to speak, which runs you and affects your decisions. They are what you currently believe to be true about something. 

Some beliefs don’t really matter much, such as “I believe that the color blue is better than red.” Other beliefs are far more critical to your existence as they frame how you see the world. For example, holding a belief about yourself that you are smart versus you are stupid can have a positive effect on your whole life. 

The ones that are key and drive us are what we call our “Core Beliefs.” 

What are Core Beliefs?

Your Core beliefs are your most deeply held fundamental or foundational beliefs or convictions about yourself, other people, and the world around you. They are your primary filter through which you see and interpret your version of reality. 

Your core beliefs shape your reality by influencing how you interpret events and experiences of your day-to-day living. In many ways, they can create an extraordinary life or keep you struggling. They will run unabated in the background, and you may be completely oblivious of their existence. Unchallenged, they can do this for your whole life if you don’t challenge them.

Core Beliefs Can Be Positive or Negative

As you likely realize by now, it’s essential to understand that your core beliefs can be both positive and negative. In other words, your own core beliefs can be either helpful or harmful, especially if you’re unaware of them and don’t challenge them.

Left unchallenged, your core beliefs manifest in inflexible assumptions that you make about yourself, others, and the world in general. Your negative core beliefs drive many bad decisions and keep you stuck in life. 

Where Do You Get Your Core Beliefs?

Your core beliefs are primarily formed in early childhood, before age 7. Yup, a child is and always has been running your life. (How are you feeling so far!)

Your beliefs are a significant part of who you are due to your life experiences, observations, interpretations, and the influence of the people you were around – good or bad. 

You get your Positive and Negative Core beliefs from Various Sources: 

  • your family ( especially primary caregivers and siblings,) 
  • your friends, 
  • your culture, 
  • your religion, 
  • the media, 
  • your personal experiences and 
  • these days, social media 

They are significantly affected by your relationship with your primary caregivers. Remember, many core beliefs are created due to the interpretations of a young child.

New experiences or relationships can also shape your core beliefs later in life. For example, if you have several primary relationships that fail, you may adopt a core belief that relationships aren’t worth the effort. 

Examples of Core Beliefs:

Positive Core Beliefs: 

  • I’m smart
  • I can do anything
  • I love being happy
  • I can trust myself
  • I’m a good person
  • People like me
  • School is easy!
  • I can learn anything
  • I can master anything

Negative Core Beliefs Examples:

Im no good, Im unlovable
Im no good
  • I am not good enough. 
  • I’m a burden
  • I am not loveable. 
  • “x” (people) are no good. 
  • I am not worthy. 
  • People who look like “x” can’t be trusted
  • Im no good in relationships
  • I am not capable. 
  • I am not smart enough. 

I am not ___(fill in the blank)___ enough. 

Negative Core Beliefs

We often develop negative core beliefs about ourselves or others during childhood as a way of surviving. 

You may have reacted to a hostile environment or just needed love for the caregiver’s support/love and had to create various beliefs about yourself and others to survive. You may have developed negative beliefs based on messages we receive from our parents, caregivers, or other authority figures. 

These messages can be explicit (“You’re stupid, no good, fat and lazy,” etc.) or implicit such as a byproduct of seeing our parents fighting or even being told that we’re not a good person, etc. 

Unfortunately, over time, we internalize these messages into our subconscious minds, becoming part of our underlying belief-based operating system.

Negative core beliefs can make you feel unworthy, undeserving, incompetent, or unlovable. They can cause you to push people away or self-sabotage etc. They can lead to feelings of insecurity and abandonment, not to mention an unfeeling life. They can also put your life on perpetual hold!

They can also drive thinking that has you doing things that will undermine you creating the life you want and, left unchallenged, can do so for the rest of your life!

Check our “Choose-Again” a great way to identify Core Beliefs HERE

How Do I Know If I Have Negative Core Beliefs?

If you’re not sure whether you have negative core beliefs, here are some signs to look for:

  • Your self-worth is affected by and is based on what others think of you. 
  • You have a negative or critical view of yourself, leaving you with feelings of insecurity. 
  • You often feel anxious or depressed, and you don’t know why. 
  • You struggle with a poor self or body image or are plagued by low self-esteem 
  • You often find it hard to trust others or form or keep close relationships. 
  • You’re always “waiting for the other shoe to drop.” 
  • You seem to see the worst in people and situations and adopt thinking and behaviors that keep you separate. 
  • You expect the worst to happen – which it often does. 
  • You’re quick to anger, take offense, or are easily defensive. 
  • You have difficulty taking risks or trying new things. 
  • You frequently compare yourself to others in a negative way.

If any of these sound familiar, especially if you’ve had a lot of negative experiences in early life, there is a good chance that you have developed several negative core beliefs as a reaction to the negative upbringing. Negative core beliefs can work against you and can, manipulate your whole life, and can be the cause of why you’re stuck.

Ignorance is Not Bliss

There is an old saying that ignorance is bliss, but this is not the case with beliefs, especially negative beliefs. As mentioned above, belief conflicts can keep you stuck your whole life. 

The great news is that they don’t have to, but you need to become more aware of your thoughts and beliefs and what they are doing to you. Like most people, you are likely unaware of your beliefs and how they control your life, positive or negative. 

If you don’t like where you’re at and how your life is going, you must start looking at your core beliefs and changing them!

is it time to see things differently
sometimes changing your life requires a change in how you see things

Check out our Post on “How to update beliefs to Ones that Serve You better” HERE

Can You Change Your Core Beliefs

Absolutely.  

An excellent lifetime habit is to get into the process of challenging your beliefs. 

There are many benefits to doing so. At the very least, you’ll be more aware of what you believe to be true. 

You can question why you believe something to be true instead of just accepting your thoughts blindly. You can then find the underlying belief(s) and replace it with something that does serve you.  

Beliefs Are Ingrained in Your Subconscious Mind. 

Understanding that your beliefs are firmly entrenched in your subconscious mind is key to effectively changing them. You can’t just say” “I want to do it differently, or “I now believe in myself” to create change. You have to reprogram your subconscious mind to instill the new belief. 

How Do I Find My Beliefs and Then Change My Core Beliefs

1) Commit to Change Your Beliefs:  

Change beliefs

First, commit to the goal of creating a better life. Choose consciously and take steps to make it a reality! Acknowledge where you are at and that your existing beliefs brought you here. 

Commit to being honest with yourself about the negative beliefs that you hold. Being heartfelt and honest with yourself may be difficult but understand that it’s vital to this powerful change process. 

2) Cut Yourself Some Slack

Understand that some negative beliefs will be in your conscious awareness, and some will not. For example, you may be aware of a belief “I’m not smart,” Or “nobody loves me,” but not be aware that you have a belief that “relationships are not safe or that “men can’t be trusted.”

Unfortunately, many beliefs are more subtle and yet more life-altering. You can also become so used to them that you think they are obviously “the truth.”

Sadly, they are anything, and unconscious acceptance can be one of your greatest enemies as it leads to complacency and action.

This change work is a process that can have some remarkable positive results, but it causes you to challenge old beliefs and why you’re holding on to them. It can also cause you to challenge your beliefs about others that you may be afraid to look at honestly. You also might be hiding behind some of the negative beliefs as a way of avoiding feelings you may be fearful of facing.

3) Set a Goal – How do I Want My Life To Be? 

Get clear about how you want your life to be. 

For example, 

  • I want to be successful! 
  • I want a loving relationship, 
  • I want to feel loved. 
  • I want to be healthy, etc.

A great way to get clear is to create a vision board covering your major life goals. This process will help you convey your desires to your subconscious mind as to how or what you want your life to be. 

4) Examine Your Existing Beliefs  

Commit to AND take actions to increase your awareness of thinking and your automatic thoughts. 

Understand that what you think will be a pathway to your beliefs. Your thoughts will lead you to what ideas you are holding and making important. 

  • Make it a habit of observing your thoughts. 
  • What are the ones that repeat themselves? 
  • What thoughts surface to awareness when you are emotionally charged? Underneath these thoughts will be your beliefs. 
  • When you get upset about something, it’s because an underlying belief violates the belief(s) you hold. 
  • Keep a journal to track any beliefs that surface when you work on achieving what’s on your vision board!
  • Once you’ve identified your negative core beliefs, please take a closer look at them. First, are they true? What evidence do you have to support them? When did you establish these? Understand that there is a good chance that you are holding on to beliefs that are no longer accurate or helpful. 
  • Once you’ve examined your negative core beliefs and decided they’re no longer serving you, it’s time to choose new, more positive ones. These could be things like “I am worthy of love and respect,” “I am capable of achieving my goals,” or “I deserve to be happy.” 

5) Understand That Change Can Take Time 

Your subconscious mind keeps your existing beliefs under lock and key. To make the deep-seated changes, you must replace your existing beliefs with new ones. You can’t just say: “subconscious mind, I want this new belief,” and expect it to happen. While occasionally the change can be rapid, for the most part, you keep working on it until you notice it has changed. 

6) Resistance to Changing Core Beliefs

The change will be relatively simple and quick for some people and with some beliefs. For many reasons, this is not always the case. You may have a part of yourself that doesn’t want the change to occur. 

You may have established this original belief to keep yourself safe when you are young, and your subconscious mind may think that altering the existing belief will make you more vulnerable.

For example, you may have put on weight as a child because you are attracting attention from certain people that you didn’t want, but now you want to lose weight. 

An unconscious part of you may still see losing weight as a threat and may not want you to achieve this goal.

You may have to work with your subconscious mind to find a different solution for the fears to achieve weight loss. For example, it may require learning assertive or communication you didn’t have when you were young to set clear boundaries.

7) Work With Your Subconscious Mind to Install New Beliefs

Once you’ve examined your negative core beliefs and decided they’re no longer serving you, it’s time to choose new, more positive ones. These could be things like “I am worthy of love and respect,” “I am capable of achieving my goals,” or “I deserve to be happy.” 

To change any beliefs robbing you of a beautiful life, you need to install these new beliefs in your subconscious mind. 

To help you understand this process, check out this Bruce Lipton Video on reprogramming your subconscious mind.

Also, Check out our Subliminal and Audible Meditations on our YouTube Channel

It is essential to keep going until you see evidence of the change you desire. You can also use self-hypnosis, repeat affirmations with emotion, get help from a professional therapist, etc. 

Have faith and Know you can create these changes. 

8) Practice Self-Compassion. 

Be gentle with yourself as you’re working through this process. Many reasons you took on the core beliefs that don’t serve could have related to your early life survival. 

As an adult, you may not adopt these beliefs but remember, as a child, you needed love and attention to survive. Sometimes that, in essence, required that you “sold your soul” to the devil – just to get love. 

Love the little you that survived.

9) Celebrate Your Wins

An advantage of keeping a journal is that you’ll start to notice changes in your life and how people in the world react to you. This can be powerful and inspiring. Recognize and acknowledge even small steps you’re making. Notice any changes that are occurring in your life and celebrate the wins. 

Make it a habit of being grateful for what you’re creating. Create a gratitude workbook and acknowledge what you’ve done by creating your new goals. 

Most importantly, be patient and kind to yourself, celebrate each small step, and keep moving forward.

Conclusion 

Negative core beliefs can be incredibly harmful, but they don’t have to define you. With awareness and effort, you can reframe your negative beliefs and create a more positive outlook on life. 

Understand that to change your negative core beliefs effectively, and you need to incorporate your subconscious mind. You can do this by using hypnosis, concerted effort, subliminal affirmations, and giving yourself time to manifest change. 

You are the ultimate winner in challenging your negative core beliefs. By changing your negative core beliefs, you’re opening up to the possibility of a more positive and fulfilling life.

It will also have a trickling-down effect in that the more you change, the more positively you will affect those around you.

As a final note, seek professional help if needed, and be patient with yourself as you make these changes. 

You deserve to live a happy and fulfilling life.

Now make your world into what is possible for you!

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