Do you ever listen to yourself? Do you ever listen to the things that you’re saying to yourself? As I’m sure you know, your brain is in constant action in constant motion. Whether we are awake or asleep, there’s always some inner chatter going on. The real key here is that some of your internal dialogue is positive and far too much has a negative spin. It’s essential that you immediately stop any self-defeating negative self-talk and focus on what’s possible so that you can create the life you want
Our Mind Never Stops! (Hey, That’s a Good Thing 🙂
As I’ve stated in some of my other posts, I think one of the worst things that happen to us humans is that we get taught what to think, but not how to think. We get no training on how to use our minds, such as what thought patterns are helping us and what works against us. We have virtually no training on using our minds to our benefit. The only training people usually get is by reading posts like this.
Are Your Thoughts Positive or Negative?
Some of our thoughts are positive, but unfortunately, our thoughts can be unsupportive for far too many people. It’s essential to understand the types of self-defeating communication we say to ourselves and learn to stop it as quickly as possible.
Frequently Our Minds Are Out Of Control
This habit of random and uncontrolled talk self-talk is so pervasive everywhere that there should be a law that forbids people from verbally and mentally abusing themselves. If this law existed, far too many people would be in jail or facing stiff fines.
If we took the time to listen to ourselves consciously, we would find that the things we say to ourselves internally and that we verbalize are concerning, at the very least. After all, what are we affirming to ourselves?
Our Thinking Patterns Become a Habit
For most people, What makes matters worse is that this is not a random event that happens infrequently. As you likely already know, this inner chatter goes on consistently; as does it’s the theme, positive or negative!
For example, how many times (that you’ve noticed) have you found yourself making derogatory comments or thoughts that related to your actions? The sad part is what you have become aware of is just a drop in the bucket compared to what goes on nonstop.
Do you judge yourself when you don’t do things perfectly or don’t achieve the results you want? This internal judgment usually results in negative self-talk, which you unconsciously direct at yourself. Unfortunately, most humans tend to self-judge and, in the process, invalidate our actions when they don’t meet our expectations.
So how are you doing so far? Is this blog post starting to describe you and your thoughts? I suspect you make many self-critical statements and do so all too frequently.
What Is Our Negative Self Talk to into Our Quality of Life
As I mentioned, most people don’t even pay any attention to what they’re saying to themselves. Have you ever questioned what this negative self-talk might be doing to you? Has it ever even occurred to you that your negative self-talk might affect your overall quality of life?
We Are All Guilty to a Degree
I have a good reason for the statement.
First, it is common knowledge that people talk to themselves, especially when involved with specific tasks. For example, a salesperson might engage in self-talk before meeting a prospective client. A pilot might engage in an internal dialogue about the weather, passengers, whether they paid their Hydro bill, etc. A lawyer might find themselves in self-dialogue about an upcoming case, the proposed judges, and whether they’ll get a good selection of jurors.
It doesn’t make any difference what you do, as virtually everyone talks to themselves. But is what you are saying to yourself helping or hindering you?
Types of Self-Defeating Negative Self Talk
There are two types of self-defeating statements that people are prone to make.
First, there are negative self-statements. These are self-directed and undermine one’s self-worth and abilities. The second type of self-defeating self-talk refers to negative comments that pressure us when it’s not needed. For the most part, these types of statements will put more pressure on us than the situation demands.
Your Thoughts Have Repercussions
You must understand that these self-defeating statements have repercussions, most of which are not in your best interest. Unfortunately, far too often, these self-created negative self-statements become self-fulfilling prophecies. In essence, you are likely to behave and create results according to your self-talk. So, if you focus on adverse outcomes, will this help you?
When you create results you don’t want, it is usually your own doing. Why? Because you have likely been focusing on what you don’t want instead of effectively and effortlessly creating the results you wish to achieve.
The great news is that if you increase your internal self-awareness, you can change your thinking and develop a positive approach to your self-talk. This change in thinking focus will help you create the results you want more effortlessly.
Exercise To Overcome Negative Self Talk
This first part of changing this pattern requires that you become aware of what percentage of your thoughts negatively focus. You must start to bring your internal dialogue into your conscious awareness. This process of observation will assist you in understanding just how often you’re using what I call “negative affirmations.”
Note to Self: Before you begin, start with forgiveness! Forgive yourself for the past and understand that you didn’t know any better. Refrain from judging the quantity/quality of self-defeating negative self-talk from the past.
For two days, make a conscious effort just to become more aware of what you’re saying to yourself. It would help if you did this without judgment as, again, nobody taught you how to do this before. Begin to observe your thoughts starting from the moment you wake up throughout the day and continue until you go to bed.
If it will help you, use a journal and write down common themes or the direction of your self-talk.
By the end of two days, you’re going to be aware of the percentage of self-defeating negative self-talk that exists in your vocabulary. And now it’s time to make the changes!
From now on, whenever you hear yourself making a negative statement:
- Stop your thoughts immediately!
- Say to yourself, “Cancel, Clear.” (Note: If you have to, repeat the statement a few times until the negative self-talk has disappeared.)
- Replace your negative self-talk with the positive outcome you want to create and repeat this.
From this point forward, make this your new mantra. Anytime you catch yourself using negative statements about anything, stop yourself immediately and replace it with positive thoughts based on what you want to happen.
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We all think endlessly, and we never got taught how to think. If you think back to your schooling, do you remember any education on using your brain effectively? How about the effects of our self-talk on our lives. As such, most of our thoughts are random with little direction.
Saying that far too many people have a high percentage of negative self-talk as part of their internal dialogue. In our ignorance, we can significantly underestimate the effects that our negative self-talk will have on the quality of our lives. We were trying to accomplish in our lives.
For you, the great news is that you can change this dynamic any time you choose through a series of straightforward steps. Once you do that, you will be able to focus on your goals and manifest without your internal war and with significantly fewer distractions. You will be able to create the life of your dreams with this change in thinking.